"Who Ta-Nai-Nai-De Cares!"

Last week I wrote an essay about a curious thing I saw in the backyard. A mother deer hopped over the 4-feet fence, her baby did not jump, the fence was too tall for him. I watched with my dogs on the deck, expected the mother jumping back into the yard to rescue the small deer. After 10 minutes the mother never came back, the baby deer walked away, casually and indifferently.

Astonished with how irresponsible the mother deer was, I wrote an essay about it. As I was typing fast, I still mumbled to myself: “I can’t believe the mama deer did not jump back!”

My daughter turned up the volume on the TV, and shouted at me: “Mom! Lay it off! IT IS A DEER!”

My husband said lightly: “Yeah! But if our dogs had run over and messed with the baby deer, I can guarantee that the mama deer will beat the crap out of the dogs!” He recalled a dramatic rescue of our small dog from an angry mother deer’s furious hoofs because the dog attacked her baby deer.

My husband’s old and wise aunt called after reading the essay. She herself had been struggling for years trying to seek for a tolerable relationship with her three adult children. “Animals have a much wiser and intelligent way to handle their affairs They know when to let go, and say Enough is enough!”

My friend Judy, who is obsessed with nature and wild lives, essentially a walking encyclopedia of “Animal Kingdom”, asked me how old the baby deer was. “Animal mothers are diligent and persistent on training their children to become independent! When the child is old enough, the mother would purposely push him to the real world. Perhaps what you witnessed was just that!”

My elder cousin CK, who always pokes fun of me for my "over-reacting"ness, wrote me back: “Jesus Yan Yan, you are more pathetic than I thought! You’ve got to let go your kids! -- IT IS TIME!”

My dear friend S, who is always obsessed with my writings, replied back, did not mention anything about the deer, simply said: “Another brilliant piece you had written! You’ve got to get your work published!”

It was Mei’s comment that brought me the broadest grin. Mei is from Beijing, the funniest and most organic and most provocative Chinese I’ve met in my life. She is in her early 50’s and does not have children. She does not “give a shit” to kids, and almost all the time “annoyed” by them.

In Chinese, the phrase “Ta-Nai-Nai-De” literally means “His Grandmother’s”. The true meaning is more on the line of “His Grandmother’s reproductive organ”. Very rarely one hears a woman uses this phrase, especially a well respected woman statistician who has two masters degrees and drives a BMW.

Which is why it sounded hilarious and utterly amusing when Mei threw this phrase to me after reading my “deer essay” -

“Who Ta-Nai-Nai-De Cares!”